i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
