he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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