Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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