Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
