Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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