there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
