he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
