so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
