you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
