i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
