Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
