**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
