so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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