awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
