so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
