...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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