your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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