I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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