I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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