On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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