somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
