there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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