Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
