He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
