Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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