I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
