BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
