I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
