A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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