Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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