3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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