That's intense
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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