now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
