No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
