Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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