OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
