I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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