The maid of honor just puked.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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