I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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