She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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