Define "chronic" masturbator.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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