I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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