If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
