Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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