never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
