This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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