I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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