??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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