I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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