Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
