I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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