I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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