He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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