You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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