I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
