God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
