I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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