It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
