just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
