How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
