If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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