so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
