how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
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Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her