Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

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(760): View more from California

is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?

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(503): View more from Oregon

We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(713): View more from Texas

I want to celebrate with you...

(214): View more from Texas

There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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(713): View more from Texas

I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.

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(954): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her

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