her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left