dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I believe in your delicious
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.