He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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