i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize