Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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