the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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