i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You don't make any sense
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